The Conterno Barolo is the Kelly bag of wine. Classic, elegant, and incredibly expensive. It smells really good, too.
I don’t necessarily think of myself as a Wine Snob. Though I do appreciate a unpronounceable châteaux or two from time to time, this sommelier will also happily guzzle an honest box of Merlot – in fact, I’m considering purchasing one these babies:
With no offense to the beautiful Princess Grace, I’m going to call this bag my very own “Kellie”.
My curiosity was piqued when I saw a bottle of Giacomo Conterno Barbera d’Alba 2005 sitting on a high shelf at my favorite enoteca for Euro 28, next to it’s more expensive and famous cousins, the Barbaresco and of course, the King, Barolo. I surprised myself when I scoffed and secretly thought, “Meh, a Conterno Barbera? Probably overpriced and over-oaked. Why not indulge in a name-less organic Nerello Mascherese from Sicily for the same amount.”
Wait. Woah, since when did I become a I’m-so-over-mainstream-wine snob? Ergk, so I stand corrected. So humbly corrected.
Embracing my inner a classic-is-a-classic-for-a-reason, we decided on the Barbera d’Alba with a plate of cheeses. The first pour. Mamma mia. What an explosion of emotions and aromas! Black current, prune, gorgeous bouquet. Velvety and jammy, but not overbearing. A perfect, perfect nose-palate harmony. Simply Kelly-like and elegant beyond words. My friends and I sat in silence, an occasional moan escaping from our lips with quiet orgasmic bursts of “oishiiii!”
If this wine were a woman, she’d be a mid-forties classic interior designer turned organic fruit farmer and author, happily married with grown children, and his-and-hers Jack Russel terriers named Dolly and Philip II. She’d have a closet full of Chanel suits, but prefer to don a vestaglia while churning a pot-ful of fruit into sweet, sensual jam. She’d have a soft British drawl and smell of lavender, I think.